Buy a New Brain

dream 6/5

2010-06-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

i was with someone, ashley i think, but it didn't have to be ashley, maybe a representation of some feminine outer-half-other-you reflection persona, and we both had on these lush purple velvet capes and were in a hotel of sorts. i felt this overwhelming anxiety at something, something like not paying a bill, something that signaled the urge in me to remain hidden from some shaded source, who, if not some hotel official, i didn't know. her and i, we, we were the end of a pursuit and felt anxiety both equally, together, from what presumed as my brain's empathetic response to at that moment make her and i the same, while allowing myself to view what was happening in third person, feeling her anxiety as my own, able to watch myself. important is the seperation of our bodies, the something blocking us from being just her and i.

we're the end of a pursuit and huddle in our cloaks at the end of a hotel corridor, waiting for the right moment to spring alive and sprint towards the exit at the far end...the time suddenly now and we're running, down the long, stretching impossibly long hallway, into and out of elevators with no time to look at buttons or mirrors or floor numbers, and out, to the end of a hall that seemed longer even still as our cloaks stretched back from where we'd been huddled.

i face the front door, poised to unlock it, the door obscuring my whole vision, the door, blocking me from seeing anything, it's creamy beige whiteness with a peephole too high above my head and gold edging peeling away from it's frame. i turn the lock and pull the door open, flushing the rush of anxiety into the cool, wet street. whether ashley is with me at this point or has just become me, i don't know and i don't notice, the air is fresh and cool and i pull it deep into my lungs.

the hotel seems outside more like a museum, long flat brick against the wet gray of the street. tall, with flags and banners in red with no type fluttering along it's top wall. the sky is heavy and dark. across the street is another brick wall perpendicular to the one i've just exited. it's immensely tall from where i stand and sensing the pursuers catching up with me (now us) we cross the street, still in our purple velvet cloaks, brighter than ever against the green wet outside, shifting to even deeper indigo against the brick of the perpendicular wall. my fingers grab the clay between the stones and i pull up high. i'm climbing above the street and the building i exited, it's tiny door falling further and further below me.

i'm flat against the wall and ashley is right below me, her cloak and mine growing terrifyingly bright against the wet brick and spreading down like ink, fear growing inside me as i see the cloak's stains covering the perpendicular wall, grazing the ground in a waterfall of velvet damp. our pursuers have opened the tiny door across the street and a man in a black suit and tie exits to the outside. the man stands across the street, profiled from my sight on the perpendicular wall, and raises his face to some fresh falling raindrops from the gray sky. He turns his head, turns his body, then points his finger up past the purple ink against the brick, up at me, at us, at our flat forms, and i awake well aware that it's all over.

printmaking bonanza

2009-05-21T11:27:00.000-07:00

these are my final projects for printmaking class, both are on 2x3ft linoleum. (unfinished)

personal narratives?

2009-04-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

this is an 11x15 drawing for my first lino-cut in printmaking class. i finished it tonight and will be carving away all week. i'm really excited to print this and am really happy with the drawing itself. sweets!

i.e. jordan and i's sculpture project

2009-04-12T13:52:00.000-07:00

not a lot of you even saw these sculptures, so i figured i'd post some photos. jordan and i put them together in december for an assignment i had for class, and they looked pretty cool until their trip home from school when they were destroyed by portland rain. i like the photos though.

back to painting

2009-04-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

this is a painting i did last week with tissue paper sheets i've had since jordan and i worked on that sculpture project. i did it by painting on a layer, placing another sheet of tissue over it, painting again, and so on and so on...i don't think it's finished yet, but i really enjoy the process and the ease i find that comes from using materials that are pretty much free. if i fuck it up i really don't give a shit and that feels nice. i'll be doing more of these pretty regularly i hope.

what grocery stores look like to a bird

2009-04-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

i was really excited when i discovered that the interstate fred meyer has a balcony where you can overlook the entire store. i'm going back with a better camera than the one on my cell phone...

MOON MAPS

2009-04-07T22:26:00.001-07:00

i found this image online tonight, it's a map of the moon's surface.

hey-o!

2009-04-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

sketchbook, lino-cut, and more sticker paintings...

today

2009-03-24T23:13:00.000-07:00

i decorated ricky delucco's fridge with skeletons and a monster...

and i did this drawing last night....

i'm becoming much more proud of my drawing skills. the skeletons are my favorites.

my favorite Borges

2009-03-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

Argumentum Ornithologicum

"I close my eyes and see a flock of birds. The vision last a second, or perhaps less; I am not sure how many birds I saw. Was the number of birds definite or indefinite? The problem involves the existence of God. If God exists, the number is definite, because God knows how many birds I saw. If God does not exist, the number is indefinite, because no one can have counted. In this case I saw fewer than ten birds (let us say) and more than one, but did not see nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, or two birds. I saw a number between ten and one, which was not nine, eight, seven, six, five, etc. That integer - not-nine, not-eight, not-six, not-five, etc. - is inconceivable. Ergo, God exists."

for today, at least.

get moving

2009-03-17T22:52:00.000-07:00

this is a new painting i finished tonight, again on one of those stickers about 8.5 in x 8.5 in. i'm really liking this one...looks like bones or something...

oh yeah

2009-03-16T00:42:00.000-07:00

ashley and dan! i cut all my hair off! summer's coming!

miss you guys...

tonight's crafts!

2009-03-16T00:08:00.000-07:00

these are paintings i did tonight on these 8.5 square inch vinyl stickers ashley and i got from scrap a few weeks ago. i'm trying to really practice just letting myself play with materials, and created these by basically mixing various values from my 'use-this-paint-before-it-dries-out' drawer and smearing them on, letting them dry, and then drawing with a paint-pen over everything. i never have any idea what i am going to draw or paint before i start (well, i rarely ever have an idea). women and hands seem lately to be what i've been drawing, both difficult for me. i am enjoying the freedom i'm starting to feel towards drawing, and although paint-pens suck and are really hard to draw with, and there are plenty of places where i totally messed up and froze for a second, it's like i needed those problems to remind myself that i don't want to fucking care about some stupid sticker painting i did in an hour on a sunday night. it's entertainment for god's sake! i'm supposed to keep telling myself that. art school really messes with your concept of what "good," "bad," or rather, "fine" art is. i'm trying not to care.

and you know what? i like them.

the self-portrait

2009-03-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

hi

2009-03-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

some random projects and disasters from the past four weeks...

i crazy.

2009-03-08T01:12:00.001-08:00

form fully freely

the morning after

2009-02-26T23:48:00.000-08:00

THE PAST FEW DAYS

2009-02-26T23:27:00.000-08:00